When I received the article ‘Finding the Time You Crave’ by Christina Fletcher (page27), I felt inspired. I had often wondered how I was going to find some time to just ‘be’. A while back, I thought I was on a winner – I was meditating in the mornings, and William (all of about 2 ½ years old) would sit beside me with his eyes closed and middle fingers touching his thumbs. However, now that he is 3, he is in the routine of interrupting our meditation sessions by saying, “No meditation Mummy, only at the temple!”- We go to a Buddhist Temple every Tuesday morning for rejuvenation.
Also, with the magazine deadline quickly approaching, most of my time lately has been dedicated to the magazine, so I have been longing to develop a plan to find the time that I crave. Then along comes this article and it seemed to be written just for me.
I read it several times, just to make sure that I fully understood how I can put it into practice. Now, as William does not settle without me lying beside him, I normally take my phone to bed and check emails, check Facebook, maybe some group deal apps; anything to keep me awake so that once William is asleep, I can get up, get some more work done, spend some time alone with hubby, then go back to bed for the night.
It occurred to me that the time I spend lying beside William would be the perfect opportunity to have the time that I crave – I would go to the bed without the phone. How perfect! That was until I Implemented the idea …Night 1 the first night, William was determined not to go to sleep – he rustled around under the blanket, rolled over, rolled back, climbed on me and kissed me (which sounds cute but does nothing to help him go to sleep!). I got frustrated and I was lying beside William thinking, “Where is my phone?”. Finally, he fell asleep and I got up feeling terrible that I not only did not get the time I craved, but I also got frustrated at my son. Note to self: try better the next night. Night 2… So tonight was going to be better – I was going to find the time I craved and enjoy it.
Again, it didn’t go to plan. William was playing with the sheet, which wouldn’t matter if they were not 1000 count sheets which sound like cardboard. The constant rustling started to annoy me – but then I breathed through it, reminding myself (per last editor’s letter) to feel the emotions, let them rise up and let go – well, that was after I moved the top sheet to the end of the bed! Then I was lying there happily when a light bulb moment happened – if I put all my cookie dough into the fridge for 20 minutes, I could use the rolling pin to make a perfect thickness, then once I had used the cookie cutter, my biscuits would be perfect every time. Because, if you refrain from using wheat and cook with almond meal and coconut flour, you will know that biscuits don’t always workout as planned.
Now, whilst it was a great idea, I realised that I had let my mind wonder- oh dear! So I went back to my ‘me time’, only to have another great lightbulb moment – I could make this the topic of my editor’s letter! It could start along the lines of: Why won’t my monkey mind be quite?! (For those not familiar with this term, monkey mind is a Buddhist term meaning that the mind is unsettled or restless.) I then looked over at William and he was fast asleep and my me time was over for another night!
Night 3… Night 3 was a wipe-out – I took my phone to bed to research accommodation for our upcoming Bali holiday … Oh dear again! Night 4… This was the night I actually started getting it. I fed William while stroking his hair, focussing on his features and giving him the loving touch.
I felt great! Then he rolled over and my me time began ~ for a few minutes before my monkey mind kicked in. But I didn’t get upset, I just brought my mind back to quiet. So, I’m now a few weeks in, I have had some great me time nights and some not so great me time nights, but in all, I figured that having some was better than having none!
Challenge If you currently surf the net, or read, or have other distractions while feeding or putting your child to sleep, I challenge you to choose one feed or sleep each day where you leave your phone, book or other distraction out of sight. Concentrate on what you are doing, and take the opportunity to have the time you crave.
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Enjoy the gift of Nurture!