We went on a family holiday to Bali over Christmas. It was an electronic free holiday – no phones, no computer, no iPad. Wow it was refreshing! I’m not sure that you would call me a workaholic, however, when the computer is on, I am on it checking work emails (I get hundreds every day) and having a ‘quick’ look on Facebook! But to have 16 days free of Nurture felt liberating.
During this holiday it occurred to me that the Balinese people are so relaxed. They do their work and when they are not working, they sit around and do nothing ~ a very foreign concept to me although I have started putting into practice meditation and present moment awareness.
Then I wondered why am I so busy? Then I realised, I create most of the busyness myself – going here going there, meeting friends here, meeting friends there. I made a decision to stop all my busyness and to have a day or two each week at home, just hanging out with William.
So, upon our return I implemented the 2 days a week at home … then I quickly realised why I go out so often. With my son being my only child, he is very demanding on me and my time.
When we hang out at home, William demands every minute to be playing something with me or reading something with me. There is no respite. Monster trucks, then running up and down the hall, then riding scooters then reading 5 books (boops as he calls them!), then the next thing … none of which he wants to do alone … and if I don’t do the thing he wants, there is big tears.
Now, I know that is completely normal for a 3.5 year old with no other children in the home, however it is very taxing on a mumma who just wants to have a little relax here and there!
I know this is shocking to admit, but I found that going out was the easiest way to get some non-demanding time – we can go down to the skate park and he is happy riding around by himself – we can go to the shops to get groceries and he is happy in the trolley – we can go to a playgroup and he is (now) happy to play with the other children – we can go to a friend’s house and he is happy to play with the friend’s child.
I love my son dearly, but I need a break during the day and going out is how I get it! So whilst I would love a less busy life, I now understand it is a balance between less busy and less demanding! Now, I know that most people don’t confess to these types of feelings, heck, if I didn’t run this magazine I probably wouldn’t admit to it. But I find that with my confession time, aka my ‘Editor’s Letter’!) I hope to normalise completely normal thoughts and feelings mothers have.
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Enjoy the gift of Nurture!